The Jeff Goldstein Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Denis Leary’

Who am I? And what do I do when I’m labeled?

In Actor's Life, Broadway Usher's Life, Inspirational, Screenwriter's Life on March 20, 2011 at 2:32 pm

I’ve been following  the blog of a very interesting guy, Colin Wright at  exilelifestyle.com He’s been called the exile cowboy and shares his minimalist lifestyle on his site which deserves a visit. One of his posts speaks about titles, how people react to us differently because of who we are, and I’m not speaking of Mr. Mrs, or Ms.

Make a list of all FACTS about yourself, not feelings, interpretations, or judgments, but hard cold facts… for example I am a blog writer who is also a Virgo. Got it? So I’ll do that for myself, but follow me and get a piece of paper and write it down for yourself.

I, Jeff Goldstein am: right-handed, have balding brown curly hair, brown eyes, am a male, I’m packing some extra weight, I have a degree in Accounting, I’ve been onstage with Candice Bergen, I worked as a Timekeeper for Macy’s, I have a blood type O positive, I am a human, I spend hours in front of my computer, I am a caregiver and teacher, I am a rebel as well as a professional, a Caucasian, I was born Jewish, I played Saint Francis of Assisi in an elementary school play, I had a conversation with Kurt Russell, I’m currently a 50 something, I am an artist, a member of 4 unions, I was in the United States Air Force, I’ve been directed by Woody Allen and Denis Leary, I share with people, etc, etc, etc.

Now what I’m getting at here is once you’ve compiled a paragraph of “titles” you can begin to see who you actually are, and because of that, how others perceive and judge you. Granted I don’t necessarily want to be know as a person who has blood type O positive, but what I’m getting at is… this is who you are. You should smile when you read your paragraph, I’ve printed mine and taped it to the wall by my computer. It makes me smile (read last post “If smiling makes me feel good, why don’t I smile more”).

People judge us by our looks, what we talk about and how we say it, the sound of our voice, WHO WE ARE, … And once we are judged, we are categorized or labeled by others. “He’s the guy who is a member of 4 unions”, he’s 54, he’s balding, he’s overweight, he spends a lot of time in front of the computer… what I’m getting at is that they can go ahead and label me, I already know it… I have it taped up on my wall. It’s nothing new to me and I smile about it!

And going further people love me because of who I am… and people love you because of who you are.  It’s funny I’ve said in the past “I would not be the person I am today if every single thing and moment in my life did not happen.” More and more I believe that to be the truth, and with that I become able to accept a lot of my life.

Take a deep breathe, don’t want to get too heavy here… but learn to love who you are, It’s a process, it takes time, but you have to start somewhere. Start with a list… and don’t forget to smile when you do it! I so love my life…

Warm hugs

-Jeff

It’s time for a change…

In Actor's Life, Inspirational, Screenwriter's Life on March 8, 2011 at 1:49 pm

How do you change a life goal?

Do you wake up one morning and say “I’m changing my goal”? Do you write in your journal “I’m changing my goal”? Do you tell your partner/spouse/friends “I’m changing my goal”? Well, what do all these options have in common….. the words “I’m changing my goal”.So whether you write, speak, recite, perform, sing, yell… or many other actions, the first step to change is to convince yourself of it.

Whatever you need to do to change the direction you are going and re-format your goals & dreams. DO IT! It’s a mindset, almost like brainwashing yourself. At first I thought brainwashing was a terrible word, but the more I thought about, that’s it! …. You need to wash your brain into a different state of being.

Let me give you an example, and it’s one of my major goal changes… the goal that I was going to be a famous Actor that people crowd around for autographs. I’m getting intimate with you here now, so follow me. I did want that! I did not want the privacy, I wanted it all! I wanted a TONY, EMMY, OSCAR, & even GRAMMY. On my 5 years goal sheet I once wrote I wanted to tour the world in a musical with Whoopie Goldberg. I wanted to act with Meryl and Al, get directed by Steven and Robert… see the picture? “Get real”, people said… but hey… wait… can’t anything happen? Can’t I win the Lottery? So, yeah I could win those awards and act with those talented folks.

Then 14 years later when I turned 54, I took a look. I didn’t do extra work anymore (a great way get on the job training), although I did have a few speaking credits in some prime TV shows, but it just wasn’t happening. Granted… it still could… but I really needed to change my  mindset because I was beginning to get depressed. So what did I do? What was it that started the ball rolling, for me to change my goal.

I would not allow myself to get depressed so… I thought, a lot I thought. About me, about life, about acting, and one thing which was always there was my determination not to fail. Then, I couldn’t do it… I couldn’t change because I didn’t want to fail, and my changing was owning up to my failure. But wait… did I actually fail? I danced with Lorranie Bracco in RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS, I had coffee with Edie Falco as a stand in on THE SOPRANOS, Denis Leary came over to me and said “I didn’t expect you to say the line that way, but I love it. So add…..” on RESCUE ME, I ate on dinner break with Kim Cattrall when filming on SEX & THE CITY… I could go on, but hey! I didn’t fail…. I made it. No one ran after me for my autograph, but I did make it… I was not a failure. (That’s what you need to put into your life situation… see all your accomplishment’s as a success).

“And now, Jeff” I said, “it’s time to move on”.

I had been writing since my Brother’s passing in 2001 (not 9/11), and had a short screenplay THE LILAC PAPERS, about my closing of his death, which I produced and flooded the Festival circuit with it. Nothing came of it other than an Honorable Mention on the 2003 LA Screenplay Festival. I thought to myself, wow I can write, so I started writing a romantic comedy KNOCK 3 TIMES. Sort of a DAVINCI CODE meets THE UGLY TRUTH. That screenplay came home with 2 Festival awards. You still with me?…. I am heading somewhere with this….

Meanwhile, auditions were becoming a chore. My fantastic agent was sending me to A & B list auditions, which meant I was auditioning beside the likes of recognizable Broadway & Film Actors. Who was getting cast… them, not me. Now yes I know law of physics… do it long enough it has to happen. But FOR ME, it wasn’t cutting it. So I really explored the passion I was developing with my writing.

That’s it… look in your life, talk to yourself, find your other passions. It’s there, don’t take the easy route by saying, “I don’t have any passions”… “I’m too tired”… It’s your life. Enjoy, have fun, make it worthwhile for yourself…. and maybe, just maybe… it might become worthwhile for someone else too.

From New York City

-Jeff

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